Tuesday, August 2

You're getting your ass handed to you!!

Dave has been traveling a lot lately. He was in Orlando for a week, home for a week and now he's gone again - day 2 of 8. Before he left, I told him about some trouble I'm having with the kids and he said, "You're getting your ass handed to you!" Well, that's putting it lightly!! So, now Dave is in the middle of "no cell service" Yosemite with his dad and I'm having my ass handed to me with no back up or reinforcements.

Noah gets up by himself between 7-730 and is pretty self-sufficient. He can make himself a bowl of cereal and a glass of milk and watches tv until I get up between 830-9 when Natalie gets up.

We had a breakfast issue yesterday so when he came in this morning to ask if he could go outside, I asked him what he ate for breakfast and he said "Nothing."

Now, there are several things wrong with this response..... He doesn't know that I heard the cabinet doors slamming, he doesn't know that I'm pretty familiar with his eating habits and I know he eats as soon as he wakes up, andhe doesn't realize there is food stuck to the side of his face!

So, I said, "You didn't eat anything? I heard the cabinet doors slamming."

"Well, I didn't eat anything."

"Noah, don't lie to me! What did you eat this morning?"

"I didn't eat anything!"

"Noah, there's chocolate on the side of your face!! What did you eat this morning and DON'T lie to me!!"

Deer in a headlight look.... "I ate chocolate."

My brain is now scanning the cabinet - where the hell did he find chocolate and why didn't I know about it ?!?

"Chocolate? Where did you get chocolate?"

"I found it in the cabinet."

"How much chocolate did you eat? Don't lie to me!"

"I had like maybe 3. I don't know - I lost count!"

"THREE?!?! YOU LOST COUNT?!?!"

He nods his head and goes back downstairs.

I came down to investigate this morning's breakfast issue (different from yesterday's issue) and I discovered that he has apparently helped himself to the smores stash that I keep on hand for fire pit nights and it was "like maybe 4" because, again, Noah doesn't realize I can see what is in the trash...