Sunday, February 17

The Funk

**Sorry this post is so long. There was no way to really shorten it without taking away from my whole experience. I hope you enjoy reading it and you feel it was worth your time.**Names have been changed to protect the innocent :)

Preface - This "experience" started 2 weeks ago.

Our house has been blanketed with "the funk". I'm not sure who started it - Noah or Natalie.

Noah threw up last Monday on the way to Y. It wasn't that much and it was so random that I thought maybe he dribbled his drink. No, he assures me, he spit up like Natalie does. I figured maybe he got carsick. It would be the first time it's happened but what else could it be.

Tuesday night at 9, Natalie starts fussing for what I think is her 930 bottle. I make the bottle and head upstairs only to discover she doesn't want a bottle, she's covered in vomit. It has soaked through her fleece pajamas which normally are pretty good at repelling any liquid. Not this time - she's covered head to toe, literally. It's in her hair, up her nose and since it's soaked through, she's wet down to her feet.

I call for Dave in the monitor. He comes up and decides he'll do the bath and I'll change the bed sheets. After bath and sheet changing are complete, I go in our room to check on her and Dave. She has thrown up again after the bath and again as I walk into our room. This is bad!!! There's clearly more going on here than just a little spit up episode gone bad.

The scariest part of this whole bad episode is that after each vomiting incident, she nearly loses consciousness. Her eyes roll into the back of her head and she becomes a limp rag doll. Just as her eyes are about to close, she perks back up and is no longer rag doll like but definitely not feeling good. She does this 5 times in 45 minutes. I am amazed at the amount of liquid this girl is releasing. Where on earth did she store it all??

After 45 minutes and a call into the doctor, she begins to dry heave. Oh boy!!! The doctor calls back and tells us to take her the ER. We call in reinforcements and have Kate come stay with Noah who is sound asleep. She arrives and we blast out the door - vomiting child and all.

During our long stay in the ER waiting room, we get a message from Kate about all the strange noises our house makes. Paul is on his way over to protect Kate and Noah from strange noises. :) (I understand - I hate staying in the house without Dave.)

Apparently there's weather moving into the area. At some point - I think around midnight - the tornado sirens start going off. The sirens wake up Noah. The sirens are freaking Kate out - it's one thing to deal with it on your own but when you have toddler that you are in charge of, do you pay attention to the sirens and head to the basement or ignore them like you would if you didn't have a toddler? Dave guides her through and they survive the night. Noah is in heaven...curled up in our bed with Kate and Paul watching Buzz and Woody. I think Kate said he finally fell back asleep around 245. So - it's a late night for all involved.

Our lucky number is finally called and we go from the waiting room to an ER room - to wait! The student dr. comes in and we give her the low down on Natalie. She brings in the real dr. and gives him our low down on Natalie. After some discussion and sitting in our own episode of Grey's Anatomy (way cool!! but the dr. was NO mcdreamy or mcsteamy). There is some discussion about what could be causing her to be so sick other than just a stomach flu. (I am not sure I understand what he's talking about and I don't think I can pronounce what she might have so you'll need to talk to Dave for further info).

They take an xray as a preliminary test for this possible problem. The xray comes back with some cause for concern. She has to have an ultrasound to know for sure.

Sweet Natalie does so good. She only fusses a little bit and not for very long. Poor thing is starving and exhausted. She does very good - no fussing or crying - for the xray or ultrasound.

After the ultrasound it is decided that she has nothing more than stomach flu. I'm relieved!! She is discharged at 530am.

We head home with no idea what to expect. How much sleep has Noah, Kate and Paul gotten?

We stumble in the door and up to bed. Dave puts Noah back in his bed. We know that Noah will be up in about an hour and we want Kate and Paul to sleep so we send them to the guest room. It is 615 when my head hits the pillow. Natalie starts fussing at 7 but finds her thumb and falls back to sleep. The battery starts to die on the monitor at 715 so it's making the "I'm gonna die noise". I am so tired that I roll over and fall back to sleep anyway. Noah comes in at 735. So much for sleeping! I've agreed to get up with Noah so Dave can sleep. I'll go back to bed when Dave gets up.

I stumble downstairs with Noah. I hand him a cup of cereal, a drink of milk, turn on Backyardigans and pass out on the couch. Well, as close to pass out as I can get with an active toddler loose in the house with nearly no supervision. He's great!!! He watches Pablo and plays toys by himself. Kate and Paul leave at 1030. Dave surfaces at 1130. I've dozed in and out since 730 so I get up with the intention of pumping myself full of caffeine and making it until Noah goes to bed for the night. I'll go to bed when he goes to bed so I don't my days and night mixed up. That plan works until 1. I can barely keep my eyes open after 2 cups of coffee. I head off to bed. All seems under control. Natalie is happy as a lark and keeping her formula down. It must have been a 24 hour bug. She's fine. Noah is down for his nap so things are pretty quiet for Dave.

Noah and Dave wake me at 415. I crawl out of my bed and into Noah's toddler bed. He's playing in his room with Dave and Natalie. I'll just lay down and watch - I can barely keep my eyes open!!

We all survive the day - sleepless and all!! Natalie goes to bed at 7 - Noah goes to bed at 8. Natalie wakes up for her 930 bottle... covered in vomit - AGAIN!! I do the bath and Dave does the sheets. We hold our breath hoping this is not a repeat of the night before. We just don't have it in us to be up all night again. Luckily – there was only instance of being sick.

Dave heads off to work on Thursday. Natalie and Noah do fine all day but again, after she goes to bed – she gets sick but only once. One does the bath – one does the sheets. I am washing her sheets everyday because I only have 2. Under normal circumstances, two is plenty.

Dave came home feeling sick so I’m in this for the long haul it seems.

I hear Dave up several times Thursday night and he doesn’t go to work on Friday. Oh boy!! When Noah comes in at 630, we do our usual routine- turn on the TV and I get an extra 45-60 minutes. On a week like this has been, every second counts. Because Natalie has been up all night every night since Tuesday, I have yet to get any decent amount of sleep to get caught up from our overnight in the ER.

When I finally roll out of bed, I pull on my sweat pants and ball cap. We make our way to the living room and he is so patient with me being SOOO tired. He doesn’t seem extra needy and seems to really be doing well at understanding this week is really different than usual. I am surprised at my patience with Noah. Being so tired, I would have expected a very short fuse. I am so tired that just thinking about not being able to go to sleep almost brings me to tears. I have to fight back my urge to sit on the couch and cry several times. Since Natalie is up several times a night from not feeling well and being extra hungry from her VERY limited diet, she is all whacked out on her schedule. She and Noah are not napping at the same time which is only making things harder on me.

It’s getting late in the day and I’m getting hungry. Because Noah doesn’t understand why he can’t see daddy (who is sleeping upstairs) – his favorite person in the world, I am having a VERY LONG day. There is only so much food in the house to scrounge up something to eat, I’m tired and don’t really care about cooking so I decide to order Chinese.

“Ten minute – come pick up!”

I load the kids in the car and go a mile and a half down the road to the local Chinese joint. I walk in, pay the cashier and hear from behind me, “Selena?!”

OH NO!!!! (Remember – I rolled out bed, pulled on some sweats, through on a ball cap and zombied through my day. I didn’t brush my teeth, wash my face or change out of my sweats and t-shirt before I left the house. I debated for a very brief moment about at least brushing my teeth but that required energy I didn’t have. I’m only going a mile down the road, running in and running out. It’s 445- everybody I know in the area is still at work)

Again – OH NO!!!!

Trying to hide the horror on my face, I turn to see a guy Dave works with. He lives in the next subdivision down from us. We’ve been in the house a year and half and I’ve NEVER run into him. Why, God, Why – why now???!!!!

“Oh, hi, Joe.”

“Hey, how are you?”

(Really – you can’t tell from looking at me)… “Terrible!!” No sooner does the word come and I really regret it. I don’t really know this guy and I’m about to unload my life on him. Him – of all people!! I can’t just call my mom or one of my sisters to unload my life, I have to tell him??? What is wrong with me???

“Oh no! What’s wrong?”

“Oh, it’s nothing really. Natalie was at the hospital on Tuesday with the stomach flu. She still has and it now Dave is hiding out in our guest room with it.”

“Oh wow! Is there anything we can do?” We refers to his wife, 3 year old daughter and newborn daughter who was born the beginning of December. Like he’s not over loaded enough?!?!

“Oh, thanks, Joe. I’ll let you know.” Not really but it sounded nice :)

“How’s the baby?”

He proceeds to tell me that his new daughter has acid reflux and is on a prescription antacid. Okay, he wins. I'm dealing with this fiasco for a few days. He's been dealing with it for months. We talk for only a second longer and I get in the Jeep.

Now I’m really fighting back tears! I’m exhausted and humiliated!!!!!!!!! :`}

I get home, unload the kids, give Noah some Chinese and head upstairs with a bottle of Sprite I managed to remember to buy at the Chinese restaurant. I hand it to Dave and ask how he’s feeling. He says, “Oh, you already went to the store?”

“No. I picked up some Chinese.”

“I need Theraflu. I think I’m getting the flu. I ache all over and am freezing.”

“Do you want me to go back out to Kroger?” (Please say no – Please say no – Please say no)

“Yes. Just get me some Theraflu.”

“Can I eat first?”


I head downstairs. My feet are cement. I’m exhausted, humiliated, starving, and now I have to go back out to the store. I think if I eat, I’ll feel a little better – wrong!

I load the kids back in the car. I figure I’ve already humiliated myself, just go the way you are. At this point, what’s the point in even caring who you run into. It can’t get any worse than that.

I decide that Walgreens will be a lot less “attention grabbing” when I unload Noah in his pajamas and no shoes, me in my sweats, a t-shirt, sweatshirt, ball cap and Natalie still in pajamas. I’m clearly having a bad day because I get sympathetic smiles from people walking by the medicine aisle. I must look A LOT worse than I thought.

I’m looking for Theraflu and see that it’s similar to Nyquil. Why not just buy Nyquil? It’s cheaper and does the same thing. He asked for Theraflu specifically so I get the generic brand and make my way to the register. We safely make it out the door and back home again without incident. Thank God!!!

I go upstairs, give him the Theraflu and tell him it’s pretty much the same thing as Nyquil.

“Oh, really? That’s not the kind I wanted. You’re supposed to mix it in water to take it.”

Fight the tears – fight the tears – breathe – breathe

“That’s all they had at Walgreens. Do you want me to go back out to Kroger?” (Please say no – Please say no – Please say no)

“No. That’s okay. Maybe this will work.”

I head downstairs to put Natalie to bed. Then it’s Noah’s turn for bed. By the time it’s all said and done, I can barely stand up. I go upstairs to go to bed and when my head hits the pillow my body thinks it’s time to start the day. I toss and turn – toss and turn. I finally fall asleep at some terrible hour (under any other circumstance, I’m sure it wouldn’t be such a terrible hour).

Noah comes in at some point. I don’t remember him coming in but when Natalie wakes up at 230, he is in our bed with his pillow off his bed. I know he wouldn’t have brought it in. I must have gotten it for him – how scary!?! I function for my kids and don’t even remember. Oh well… she’s up and I don’t want her waking him through the monitor.

I zombie my way to her room, reach to pick her up and she’s covered in vomit. Why me??? I can’t give her a bath. All her bath stuff is in the master bath and it will wake up Noah. If I leave to get it out of the master bath, she’ll freak out crying and wake up Noah and Dave. I must improvise!!

I strip her down to her diaper and give her a “wipes bath”. They are cold and I feel bad but it’s better than sleeping in your own vomit. She rolls around on the floor, happy as a lark, while I change the sheets. She won’t eat and finally settles down back to sleep. I crawl back into bed. What feels like 10 minutes later (but is actually 4 ½ hours) Noah rolls over asking to watch TV. I must some how manage my day, again. I didn’t hear Dave up all hours of the night but I’m not sure what his status is.

I function for my day. Natalie naps – Noah naps. Not at the same time…that would be too good for me at this point. Dave surfaces later that afternoon just long enough to make sure I’m still living and haven’t run off to the crazy house, yet. No, I assure him, I’m surviving.

Dave begins to feel better later that evening. Good thing – Natalie throws up again around 930. As we sit in our room with her trying to decide what to do, I mention just how tired I am. Dave decides that he’s feeling well enough to deal with her overnight. I head to bed.

Again with the not sleeping when my head hits the pillow. Why, God, Why??? I finally fall asleep and sleep absolutely terrible!! For some reason, I am just not meant to sleep – ever!!!

I wake up Sunday morning not feeling good. I figure it’s just sheer exhaustion. I have been going non-stop for nearly a week on the amount of sleep most people get in one night. I head down stairs and decide to take Noah to the 11:00 church service/Sunday school. As strange as it sounds – I really look forward to church because I think they have really good coffee. Oh – after the week I’ve had, I’m really looking forward to a good cup of coffee. I drop Noah at Sunday school and head towards the coffee machine. There’s no creamer - Why, God, Why??? – I’m at church, I might as well ask!! :) No coffee today so I settle for a cup of hot tea.

After church, we head home. I am still not feeling good and decide it’s time for a nap. It’s about 1. I am startle awake at 4 by the sudden onset of nausea – oh no!!!!! I’ve picked up the funk.

When I come out of the bathroom, I make my way halfway down the stairs and sit. Noah is at the bottom of the stairs and says, “Where’s daddy?” Good question!

“Noah, where daddy?”

I hear Natalie’s door open. Dave had heard me in the bathroom and asked if I felt better. I’m still not feeling good. I go back up the stairs to bed. I’m in bed the rest of the night.

It’s Tuesday before any of us feel okay and the house is functioning back to normal. Little Noah steered clear of the funk and I’m so thankful. Two babies with the funk seems impossible.

So, sorry it’s been so long for an update. We were all sick for a week and it’s taken me a week to write this blog.