Sunday, November 24


Noah: Mom, how do babies get in your belly?

Me: {oh crap...think fast!!}  That's the way God made it.  {Please let that be good enough!!}

Noah:  So, Natalie has a baby in her belly, too?

Me: {oh crap...think fast!!}  No, Natalie's not married.  {Please let that be good enough!!}

Noah: But how do the babies come out?

Me: {oh crap.... really? we're doing this?!?} The doctors get the babies out.

Noah:  But how?

Me: {REALLY!?! Seriously make it stop!}  Not sure.  I'm not a doctor.

Noah: {either realizing he's not getting the answer he's looking for and is giving up or he's really okay with the answers I've given (I suspect the former)} Oh

Friday, October 5

Girls don't sweat!

Noah and Natalie are trading off all week on who will stay home sick from school.  Natalie started it off with a cough on Tuesday.  Not to be outdone, Noah had a 102 fever on Wednesday.  One must outdo the other so Natalie's cough got worse on Thursday but Noah gave up the competition and went to school.  Apparently he decided he wasn't really done after all and his temp spiked to nearly 103 on Thursday evening.  Natalie seems to be giving up the race and went to school today.   

I kept Noah home as a precaution but since his fever is gone and he seems to be bouncing back, I decided a little retail therapy would be good for me after the week I've had.  So, he and I were off to The Limited after Natalie got on the bus.

After about 30 minutes of trying on clothes, I said, "Whew! I'm working up a sweat!  It's hot in here!"

Noah was so absorbed in the game he was playing on my phone that I didn't think he was listening.  I was really talking more to myself, anyway, until he laughed and said, "Why are you sweating? Are you a man?"

Laughing, I said, "What?!  What are you talking about?"

"You said you were sweating.  Girls don't sweat! Guys do! Unless a girl is running and you're not running! You're shopping!"

"Well, it's pretty close to the same thing!"

He laughed and it seemed that he decided I didn't really know what I was talking about.  

Sunday, September 30

Time for a haircut

The kids and I went for haircuts a few days ago.  Just as Noah sat down, she noticed a spot of hair at the front of his head that was shorter than the rest of his hair.  

She asked, "Did you cut your own hair?"  


"It's shorter, right here, than the rest of your hair.  Are you sure you didn't cut your own hair?"

He gave her a sly look and said, "Well, you're the one holding the scissors!!" and grinned.

He's so quick-witted and it's freaking hilarious!!  Luckily it blends - sort of....

Friday, May 25

Random thoughts from Natalie

Natalie:  Mom - when I was little, I dressed up like a fly but I didn't bug myself!

Thursday, March 22

Conversations with Natalie

The kids need summer clothes so while driving down the highway on the way to the mall last night, Natalie randomly says, "I want hair in my nose!"

Me: What?

Natalie: I want hair in my nose. I want dad to give me hair for my nose.

My mind scans back to a conversation with Noah 3 days ago when he asked where boogers some from and I assume this is where her line of random questioning comes from... (wrong!!)

Me: Hair in your nose? Why?

Natalie: Yes - hair in my nose. Like here (and put her finger just inside her nostril). I want dad to give me hair for my nose.

Me: Okay? But why?

Natalie: Because Grampa Dirt has hair in his nose and I want hair in my nose like grampa's. I wonder if dad will give me hair in my nose. I'm going to ask him when he calls if he'll bring me some hair for my nose.

Me: Um - sure.... you can ask him (what else was I supposed to say?!)

Monday, November 21

A humbling perspective

On Friday, as the kids and I waited at the airport for Dave to get home from New York, a man approached me and if I was Mrs. -----. I said, "No, but I could be. Did I win something?" He proceeded to tell me that he was waiting for a soldier returning home from Afghanistan. He had never met the soldier's wife but knew they had 2 small children and, since Noah and Natalie kept asking "how long before dad gets home?", he thought maybe I was the soldier's wife. Well, now my "did I win something" didn't seem to funny anymore. He then told me that the soldier coming home had served with his son in Afghanistan and then pointed to a picture pinned to his jacket and said, "My Jesse didn't make it home! He was killed last November." I shook his hand and, with tears in my eyes, thanked him for his sacrifice and how grateful I was for his family and his son's sacrifice. He had such a positive attitude towards the experience. He explained to me, "How can I be sad? My son saved 3 men's lives before he died. The last man he saved had 3 kids at home - 5, 3, and 3 months. The soldier had never met his baby and because of my son, that soldier saw his child. How great is that and how can I be sad knowing that my son did that for them?" I was so awe struck by his positive outlook on the situation.

As we were leaving the airport, I stopped to shake his hand and say "thank you" one last time. As I was walking away, he yelled for me and handed me a flag he was holding. He said, "I want you to have this. This is one of the flags that flew at my son's grave. I want you to have it - for your kids to have it so they'll know the story of my Jesse. His name is Jesse Snow. He's from Fairborne and he was given a silver star. Look for his story." I was so honored to be given that flag.

I told Noah and Natalie "That man's son died while fighting that bad guys and he was helping to keep you safe. He saved 3 of his friends' lives before he died!" Now, when Natalie comes into my room, she will see the flag and sometimes yell, "THE AMERICAN FLAG!!!!" I hope someday my kids will have the full perspective of what that flag means and the sacrifices that go with our safety and freedom. It was instilled in me as a kid and I intend to instill that in my kids, too. I am so grateful for the opportunity to meet John Snow and hear Jesse's story.

Tuesday, November 1

So proud - or not....

Noah got hurt on Saturday while playing on his scooter. On the way to church on Sunday, he said, "Mom, you want to know why I didn't get hurt worse yesterday when I fell on my scooter?"


"God took care of me so I only got hurt a little bit instead of a lot hurt."

"That's right. God always takes care of us!"

I was so proud - I must be doing something right!!

"I know. A long a time ago at church we talked about how God makes us better when we get sick or hurt. The teachers asked us to tell a story about a time that God made us better or someone in our family better when we were sick."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, I told them that when I first born out of your belly, I was really sick and almost died but God made me better and I wasn't sick anymore."

"NOAH!! Why would you tell them that? That's not true!! You weren't sick when you were born!!"

"It's okay, mom. I just made it up!"

So much for my proud moment!!

Tuesday, August 2

You're getting your ass handed to you!!

Dave has been traveling a lot lately. He was in Orlando for a week, home for a week and now he's gone again - day 2 of 8. Before he left, I told him about some trouble I'm having with the kids and he said, "You're getting your ass handed to you!" Well, that's putting it lightly!! So, now Dave is in the middle of "no cell service" Yosemite with his dad and I'm having my ass handed to me with no back up or reinforcements.

Noah gets up by himself between 7-730 and is pretty self-sufficient. He can make himself a bowl of cereal and a glass of milk and watches tv until I get up between 830-9 when Natalie gets up.

We had a breakfast issue yesterday so when he came in this morning to ask if he could go outside, I asked him what he ate for breakfast and he said "Nothing."

Now, there are several things wrong with this response..... He doesn't know that I heard the cabinet doors slamming, he doesn't know that I'm pretty familiar with his eating habits and I know he eats as soon as he wakes up, andhe doesn't realize there is food stuck to the side of his face!

So, I said, "You didn't eat anything? I heard the cabinet doors slamming."

"Well, I didn't eat anything."

"Noah, don't lie to me! What did you eat this morning?"

"I didn't eat anything!"

"Noah, there's chocolate on the side of your face!! What did you eat this morning and DON'T lie to me!!"

Deer in a headlight look.... "I ate chocolate."

My brain is now scanning the cabinet - where the hell did he find chocolate and why didn't I know about it ?!?

"Chocolate? Where did you get chocolate?"

"I found it in the cabinet."

"How much chocolate did you eat? Don't lie to me!"

"I had like maybe 3. I don't know - I lost count!"


He nods his head and goes back downstairs.

I came down to investigate this morning's breakfast issue (different from yesterday's issue) and I discovered that he has apparently helped himself to the smores stash that I keep on hand for fire pit nights and it was "like maybe 4" because, again, Noah doesn't realize I can see what is in the trash...

Wednesday, February 2

My heart just stopped!!!

Noah gets out of school at 310. At 257 my phone rings...


"Hi, this is ..... from ........ elementary school." ((very long pause like her name was enough to tell me what she wanted. I've never heard the name before so there's an even longer pause))

Her: "Is Noah out sick today?"

Me: "No - I put Noah on the bus at 1230!"

Her: "Well, he's not here." ((her tone implies that it's perfectly normal to put a kindergarten-er on the bus but never show up at school - my tone becomes panic because it's NOT normal!!))

Me: "Well, I put him on the bus 2 1/2 hours ago. He should be at school."

Her tone becomes annoyed - with a heavy sigh she says: "Hold on!"

I wait - my heart has dropped to my stomach and stopped....

Her: "Never mind. It was the child below him on the roster." (her tone is as if this happens everyday - as if it's perfectly normal to "lose" a child)

Oh - okay - well thanks for the reassurance!!!!

Thursday, September 30

Are you crazy!?!?!?!?!

Noah said he wants a little brother. I told him he had a little sister. He said he's okay with having a little sister but he wants a little brother, too, because all of his friends have little brothers. I told him he was out of luck on a brother but he's got a sister. About 5 minutes later, after Noah got on the school bus, Natalie asked if we could have a baby like her Baby Brynn so she could have a baby to play with. Um - no thanks but thanks for asking :)

Saturday, July 3

Noah saw a little black girl at the dr office this morning and he said, "Mom, does that girl with a tan work here?"

Thursday, June 10

I'm late - no more talking

Noah informed me earlier today...

"Mom, I gotta go. I'm late for my super hero meeting with Spiderman, Batman, Iron Man, that viking guy (Thor) and Captain America so there's no more talking."

Thursday, April 1

Easter Bunny

I took the kids to the see the Easter Bunny yesterday. This is the best part about parenting. Is it bad that I enjoyed this so much? :) (there is a video below in case you can't see it depending on your web browser)

Tuesday, March 23

Straight for the heart

Dave is out tonight so I took the kids for a walk. When we got back to the house, Noah ran ahead of us and locked the door. (first mistake) I knocked on the door and he opened it (second mistake) - smiling (third mistake).

I told him it wasn't funny and I don't know what part of him thought it was okay to lock us out of the house. I sent him to his room. A few minutes later I called him back downstairs. I had told Natalie earlier in the evening that if she finished her dinner that we'd all go out for ice cream. So, we loaded up and went for ice cream. Noah didn't get any and he told Natalie, "I can't have any because I locked you guys out of the house."

When we got back from DQ, I asked him to clean up his toys. He asked if I would help him and I said "No. You guys can do it. They're your toys." He started crying and said, "Mom?"

"What, Noah?"

"You're always mean to me."

Okay - crush me now but your still cleaning up the toys and I'm still not helping you.

I hugged him big and explained to him that I wash his dishes, clean his clothes, cook him dinner, drive him to school and all I ask is that he clean up his toys. The explanation didn't really work because he said, "Well, you can help with the toys, too."