Wednesday, April 16

My Birthday Morning

I have been very sleep deprived for days. I'm so exhausted I can barely keep my open. They burn when I blink and they are so dry that I can actually hear myself blink. When Dave came home from work yesterday, I break down in tears about how tired I am. He says he'll take the kids and I can sleep - uninterrupted - all night. Great!!! I head to bed at 7. I toss and turn for a while, read my book and then eventually fall asleep. Even though I didn't get to sleep early, it was nice for my body to just rest and relax. I feel much better!

Dave came in this morning at 8 to wake me so he could go to work. He's working a half day and has arranged for Kate to babysit the kids around 230. I have no idea what we're doing and I don't really care - a break from the kids... how exciting!!

I consider taking the kids to the mall to play in the play area but after they eat and I shower, it's almost 11. Natalie takes her nap at noon so a trip to the mall is out. I have to go to the store to get food for Natalie so Kate doesn't have to worry about scrounging something Natalie can eat.

Noah wants to push a "kid size" cart and normally, when Natalie is with us, he isn't allowed. She's too heavy to hold for that long and deal with helping Noah not run into anything or anyone. But today is a special day - it's my birthday and so I let Noah push the cart. It's only baby food and 1/2-n-1/2. How long can that take? Two aisles and then we're done. Oh, if life could really be that easy.

He usually does very good at pushing the cart for the most part. Not today - I'm lugging around a 28lb baby and he decides he doesn't want to push the cart, he wants to hold onto the cart and bounce on one foot. Two aisles are like worlds apart at this rate and Natalie is starting to feel like she weighs 128lbs. My arm is about to give out and I tell Noah he can't hop, he has to walk. That works for about 10 steps. He then decides to let me pull the front of the cart while he hangs onto the handle with his arms draped over and drags his feet. Now, Natalie weights 228lbs and I'm dragging a cart with a 2 1/2 yr old using the cart as a tow truck. Oh My Gosh!!!!!

It never fails, there's always 1 or 2 stray carts in the store that I can grab, put her in the front, toss the groceries and Noah in the back and be on my way - Not today!!! There isn't an unused cart in sight. Oh My Gosh!!!!

I decided to speed up the process by doing the self checkout. All is well except that half way through checking out 5 jars of baby food and a carton of 1/2-n-1/2, Noah decides the self check out is a jungle gym and starts climbing. Oh My Gosh!!! Then, my phone rings. In the fumble of dealing with my trip to Kroger, I can't see the caller ID. I'm waiting for a call from Dave so I answer it. It's not Dave, it's Stacy. I tell her I can't talk and she asks why. Oh My Gosh!!!! After a brief summary of my trip to Kroger, I tell her again that I'll have to call her back. I finish checking out.

I'm hungry and decide to go home for leftover chicken and rice. I have to cook the rice though and it takes 30 minutes. After my trip to Kroger, I decide that's too long to wait for rice so I decide a Big Mac would be good.

I head to McDonalds - BIG MISTAKE!!!

I pull up to the drive thru line at 1124. I know it was 1124 because I called Stacy back when I pulled in. There is 5 cars in front of me. The first car finishes ordering and pulls forward. I see them pull out the other side of the drive thru a few minutes later. They got their food and drove off before the next car was asked for their order. At this rate, it'll take forever. I could have had rice made by now... The next car orders, pulls through and I see them leave before the next car orders. Now, I'm third in line. It's been 10 minutes. If I didn't want a Big Mac I'd go somewhere else but seeing as I can only get a Big Mac at McDonalds, I decide to tough it out. BIG MISTAKE!!!

The car at the speaker orders and pulls forward, right away, the car in front of me orders, then me - a big mac meal and a cheeseburger happy meal with apples instead of fries. It seems McDonalds finally got their act together and isn't dealing with one car a time anymore. Good - Now that I've ordered, it shouldn't be too long. WRONG!!!

By the time I get around to the pay window, it's been 14 minutes from the time I pulled into the drive thru line to the time I paid. Jeez...all that time but now, all I have to do is pull forward for my food.

I get to the food window and I wait, and wait, and wait some more.

I can see the girl filling drinks and waiting for my food to be handed to her. As she's filling cups, I'm amazed that she can fill that many and remember which drink goes with which order. I guess the cups aren't filling all the way so she starts to fill them with one of the other drinks. I'm surprised that can remember what she put in each cup seeing as they are all the same color - diet, regular, dr pepper - all brown.

She leans out and asks what I ordered for food. Um - okay - I repeat my order to her and she hands me Noah's apple juice. After waiting another minute or two she hands me his happy meal. I'm still waiting for my big mac meal.

While waiting, Dave calls. I'm so fuming pissed off by now - it's been 20 minutes, 10 to order and 10 waiting for my food. I tell Dave that I can't talk and start telling him, loudly enough for the girl in the window to hear, that I've waited 20 minutes for food at the drive thru. He asks if I can just pull away. Nope, I've already paid.

She finally hands me my food and tells me not to yell at her. I said, "Twenty minutes for food. It's called FAST FOOD for a reason." I start to pull away and realize I didn't get my drink. I yell at her, again, "I've waited 20 minutes for my food and I didn't even get my drink."

She asks, "What did you order?"

"Dr. Pepper"

She hands me a Dr Pepper and I leave.

I'm so fighting mad by now that I can't stand it. Oh My Gosh!!! It's my birthday, can't I just have a normal day.

You have to understand my luck with McDonalds drive thru. About once every few months, I get into a fight with the people working the window. Once over them accusing me of stealing 10 cents (Yes, 10 cents. I was pregnant and a little sensitive.) and another time because I asked for ketchup and the girl working the window wouldn't give it to me. She swore up and down that she put it in the bag. I searched the bag, again, and it wasn't in there. I think I even emptied the bag to prove there was no ketchup. When she finally gave me some ketchup - one packet... Whatever!!! So, today, is apparently my drive thru incident and now I'm good for a few months.

Dave has me breathe and my blood pressure starts to drop. Joyce calls and I talk to her on the way home. I get the kids out of the car, go inside and pulled the food out to eat. My Big Mac looks like it's been sitting under the warmer for a while. I didn't order anything cooked a special way so I don't know what the problem was. I pull out my fries - they are burnt, cold and soggy. Oh My Gosh!!!

Noah is enjoying his cheeseburger and apples. He's playing with his toys while he eats. He looks like he's straight out of a McD's commercial. Once he's finished with his cheeseburger, I tell him to finish his apples. He picks up an apple and said, "A chicken." I said, "No silly, that's not a chicken. It's an apple." He holds it up higher and sure enough, he's eaten bits and pieces off the apple slice and now it looks like a chicken

I eat my meal and then go to take a drink of my Dr Pepper. I didn't get a straw with my drink but who knows how long that would have taken so I pull a straw out of the draw. I take a drink - what - no ice and it's not Dr Pepper. It tastes a little like Dr Pepper and a little like Diet Coke... GROSS!!!! Apparently she wasn't that good with the drinks after all. Oh My Gosh!!! I get a cup of ice and poor myself some Diet Coke from the fridge.

I feed Natalie who has taken a liking to chewing on the table. Yes, chewing on the table. I keep telling her to stop and pull her away from the table but she is always reaching as far forward as she can get trying to chew on the table. Today is no exception.

I feed her some ravioli and try to give her a drink. She doesn't want it and is getting mad. She acts like she wants it but when I put it in her mouth, she freaks out. I give her some Gas X. Maybe chewing on the table gave her a belly ache. I try taking her upstairs to lay her down and she wants nothing to do with that. I can tell by how she's crying that she wants her drink. I try again and again she's pissed off mad and won't drink it. Maybe she's not tired. I take her back downstairs. She's super fussy and is rubbing her eyes. I try the drink again and she won't take it but she's mad and acts like she wants it. Oh My Gosh!!! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY - CUT ME SOME SLACK HERE PEOPLE!!!

Fine - I change the sippy cup to a bottle (which she doesn't really use unless it's bed time - even for naps, she gets a sippy cup). That does the trick. She chugs it down and I lay her down in her bed. She's mad about laying down but she's stopped crying and is asleep before I make it back to the kitchen.

All of this happened before 1230. I hope my afternoon birthday is A LOT better.

Please tell me - my 30s can only get better from here - right?